10 - Ascension

They say time heals all wounds. I hate clichéd sayings like this, and I tend to think a bit of tenacity goes a long way too. For Emma and I, time and some reflective text messages from me led to our friendship repairing. We lunched again. We read together. We browsed galleries and walked in the botanic gardens. I guess time heals wounds better than a slow hanging.

One sunny afternoon after one of these walks we were sitting together in silence under the shade of a giant English Oak. I’d been nursing a splitting hangover all day, and my sweaty skin rapidly cooling in the tree’s shade felt almost preternatural; it was atmospheric and intrinsic, creeping through me and over me. My head spun and I lay back on the grass, only to find my head hitting Emma’s firm thigh. “Oh!” she laughed, then made a joyful sound in her throat, like a hum crossed with a sigh. “Hi Arik”. I went to raise my head but her cool hand settled gently on my brow, guiding me back down to rest.

I don’t know how long we lay like that. I would have lay there for days in the cool shade of that oak, feeling Emma’s gentle hand on my brow, listening to her gentle chirping and humming. There was no pain. No loss. I opened my eyes and saw her gazing down at me, and was flawed anew by her beauty.

“So are we doing this now? Is this us?”

It sounded like my voice, but I wasn’t aware of any talking. She smiled widely, showing rows of perfect teeth under a taut upper lip. I held her gaze and watched her face slowly return to neutral, before she turned to look out over the sprawling gardens. After an age she looked down on me, squeezed my shoulder, and through a growing smile said “come on. I want to see more”.

She bounced to her feet and stepped into the light, graceful and carefree and seeming to radiate in the low afternoon sun. The shade where I lay grew cold, and I dug my hand into the wet dirt to haul myself upright. Emma was well ahead now, walking softly away, gazing into the distance, smiling at nothing and everything, full of life and fully alive.  

I stood, wincing as pain ripped through my skull as the blood rushed back to my head, and walked sadly in her direction.

~